☆Jenny☆20☆
☆I like sharks, drawing, and math☆
☆This is hopefully going to be geared more towards my artwork than in the past☆
"In the name of the sea, come and fight me!" ☆Commission Info!☆
ive eaten shrimp exactly 5 times in my life, always with gusto and an utter lack of self-restaint, and each time has ingrained itself in my memory as distinctly nightmarish when they ended with me ralphing it all back up within the hour. i thought this was reflective of my hubris and insufficient fear of god, but it is only as i write this post now, crumpled to my knees on the floor of this eresto’s bathroom after eating half a baja taco and recalling that my dad is allergic to shellfish, i realize perhaps the issue is not with a higher power, but with a deeper one. biology.
‘you’re back early’ is the most hilarious phrase to me in this context. like, you’re back early. from the moon. which takes days to get back from, and also definitely the assistance of this nasa employee. but somehow we managed it and just decided to drop by nasa for you to make this casual remark. yep. a logical setup to any joke.
My grandmother is a bitter old crab with nothing good to say about anything, but she does have a few good stories. She confronted the woman my grandfather had been cheating on her with - this other woman had no idea he was married, and was righteously angry.
The two of them schemed together. My grandfather’s mistress drove her convertible to the construction site where he was working. As he approached the car, she said, “Why didn’t you tell me you were married?”
“Married?! I’m not married!” he said.
My grandmother sat up in the back seat, where she’d been lying down, and said, “You won’t be for much longer.”
A concept: An adventuring party made entirely of people of one race disguised as people of another. The disguises are really bad, like the “dwarf” is just a halfling with a fake beard, the “orc” is an elf with body paint and novelty teeth, and the dragonborn is just three goblins in a trenchcoat- but none of them have any experience with any of the races in question and are trying not to draw attention to their own disguises, so all of them are fully prepared to accept any oddity on the part of their party members.
The halfling, having just been caught taking off their beard in private so they can breathe: ….this is normal for dwarves The goblins, who were looking for somewhere private that they can crawl out of the trenchcoat: Acceptable, have a nice day
Halfling: Friend orc, I don’t mean to alarm you, but the green appears to be coming off of your skin. Onto my hand. Elf: I. Have a skin condition. Halfling, discreetly adjusting their beard: Acceptable, have a nice day
adulthood is just a constant struggle of, “man, i want cookies for breakfast, but I also recognize this is a bad nutritional decision. On the other hand, the only one who can stop me is me. i know that fucker’s weaknesses. i could totally take me in a fight.”
frog and toad are my two remaining brain cells struggling to keep my horrible body alive
